May 29, 2017

P is for Pee.

(Still having fun with this #MagicfOfVulnerability Challenge!)

I have a lot of embarrassing stories. Foot in the mouth, shouldn't have done that, super ugly pictures, yada yada yada. I'm a magnet for palm smacks to the forehead and permanent flushed cheeks. It's why I laugh. A LOT! Sometimes there just really isn't any other option.

So this story I'm about to tell you was the result of some serious mom pressure. Remi was just about 1-1/2 years old and I remember friends chatting about potty training. Someone's sister had trained all their kids when they were her age with some sweet method, and it was amazing. So of course (MOM LIFE) I got it in my head that I should be getting on top of that!


Remi was actually great with showing interest so I grabbed her some undies, a potty, some mini marshmallows for bribing, and we were all set for that special week. The potty week. The "spend a week with her naked and she will have potty training down in 5 days" week. Miraculous stuff, I tell ya! There was mention that you should plan for a time when you aren't doing much but guys, I have stuff that pops up ALL WEEK, all the time. There is no such thing as a week of nothing.


We are 3 days into this potty training thing and Remi is doing alright! She had I think two accidents but for the most part she would go for a good chunk of time with no messes. So of course I get all pumped, strap my premature mom goggles on, and I head out.

I actually headed out!

I don't know what I was thinking or what came over me.

So here I am with a no-diaper-wearing little cutie in my back seat and we're heading to a nearby store to grab a few items and I'm feeling like a boss. Easy peasy. How bad could this be? We are meandering through the store, and I can't even mention what store because it makes me die a million deaths picturing it all over again. I looked away for a split second only to check back to see Rem, legs straddled far apart, looking down in complete confusion as pee ran down her legs into a clear puddle by her feet.

Son. Of. A!

You want to know what I did? I walked over, swept her up (pee pants all over my arm and shirt) and we nonchalantly left the store. L E F T . We got outside and I BOOKED it for the car where I opened up the back of the Acura and hid away hahhaha! We both hopped in, and sat there hiding out - MORTIFIED.  I stripped + wiped Remi down but I mean, I was actually scared someone was going to come out and tell me to get my butt back in there and clean it up! I wanted to but I mean, the puddle was clear. For all anyone knew it was water! Right? This couldn't be the first time someone peed in this store I'm sure. What would I do with nakey Rem? Ohhh the excuses.

It took me a good several months to show my face back in that store AND the next time I went we were potty training again. Guys, you think I would have learned my lesson but as I meandered through the racks of clothes, Remi snuck under one and pooped her pants! I smelled it before I actually realized what was happening. I ran her to the washroom and dry-wiped her poor bum until it was somewhat clean. She wasn't a big fan of that one.

I think I swore then and there that she would be wearing diapers until Kindergarten.

Long story short, Remi was potty trained at 2-1/2 years old when she was ready. It was a rough mama lesson to be learned. Don't, and I seriously mean DON'T get pressured by other people and their expectations. It was so silly! Remi does everything at her own pace anyway and I could have spared some serious horrification. Eating, crawling, walking, talking, potty training, weight, height, size of shoes, hair length, tanning capabilities, you name it - mom's are probably comparing and it's sad really.

The minute you learn to do your own thing with confidence and zero judgement you will in actuality be a super human, but just try your best!

It takes practice, dang it!

Train yourself to just look at everyone else with a content heart and do your own thing because you could end up loathing a specific store for way too long! ;) Someone watched those security cameras, I just know it!

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