July 10, 2017

The Softy Approach

This week was a party!
Monday through Wednesday was spent camping at Wasa Lake with friends.
Thursday through Saturday was spent camping with family at Lower St. Mary's. 
Just the Rem and I in a tent.
Woke up to the chirping birds each morning and it was heeeeeeeaven! 
We scored 3 new sets of tan lines and a serious 400+ mosquito bites.
Sand everywhere!

It was so so worth flying solo without JP, even though we missed him a ton.

Summer, you guys! It's THE BEST!

I think the thing I loved most about this past week were those glimmers of wanting and loving to be absolutely still + calm. They didn't always exist as I was constantly worrying about Rem, but I started to realize something and that is that I love the soft approach in life. I'm not always good at it, but I love it! I NEED it.

All too often I micromanage situations. I sit back and HOPE Remi doesn't steal that toy or sit back and silently hope that Jason will pretty please put his crap away after making his lunch. Ya know? Do any of you do this?? I am so used to tidying up and looking after things that I anticipate the poor behavior, the messes, and the stress. It's a lame and pathetic way to live if I'm being honest and I don't love it. 

Sometimes I don't love the monotony of motherhood. 🙊
Often I can even be a silent stress case!
Nine times out of ten I react in a way I regret.

That BUGS me.

So today I'm zeroing in on this thing I call the softy approach that is best explained in this book excerpt below. I'm an impressive 4 pages in haha, but I've skimmed through and I looove books like these. Boosts my heart. You'll love it!


Currently reading: Only Love Today by Rachel Macy Stafford


I've had enough of my hard edges.
I'm tired of straining my voice.

I'd like to loosen up and laugh a little more, be positive rather than negative.

I'd like to feel the upward curve of my lips. I'd like to surrender control of things over which I have no control. I'd like to let things unfold in their own time, in their own way.
I'd like to participate joyfully in this fleeting life.

I'd like to be softer
toward him,
toward her,
toward myself.

Thus, this will be the year of my softening. 
And this is my vow:

I vow to listen to opinions. I don't always have to be right. I don't always have to agree or have the last word.

I vow to hand over the hairbrush, the pile of laundry, the school project, the task before me.
"How would you do it?" I will ask.

I vow to step aside and respect a new approach. 
Success might be difficult to see at first; I vow to keep looking.

I vow to be more accepting of quirks and mannerisms. I vow to be more accepting of tastes and styles unlike my own. 

I vow to remember he is in the process of becoming; she is in the process of finding her way. 
And they are more apt to do it if I stop telling them how.

I vow to regard "weaknesses" as hidden strengths. Inner gifts can be nurtured when I stop plotting ways to alter, change, and "improve". 

I vow to greet my family -- and myself -- with a loving smile, not matter what happened yesterday. Grudge-holding only hurts us all.

I vow to pause before correcting. I will take a moment to consider if the mistake even needs to be mentioned at all.

I vow to stop nitpicking until it bleeds.
I vow to demand less and inquire more. 
I vow to listen,
and expand my thinking.

I vow to be a voice of encouragement in a demeaning world.
I vow to be a silver lining spotter in my family's little world.
I vow to be softer today than I was yesterday -- a softer voice, a softer posture, a softer touch, a softer thought, a softer timetable.
I vow to be softer toward the imperfect human being inside and the one beside me. 
By being softer I can hear more, learn more, feel more, and love more.
At last I will fully see.
I will see his colors.
I will see her colors. 
I will see my colors.
Perhaps for the very first time.
The colors might take my breath away, bring me to tears,
or offer long-awaited peace.

I will soften in order to illuminate the colors of the soul.
I will soften so the human being inside me and beside me can shine. ☀️


sooooo good right?!
challenging situations and tried-patience get me every time but I've seen this softy approach throughout my life and it's foolproof. Now, if only I could perfect it. 



  1. Woah soooo good, I need to read this book. I am the exact same way as you and have been working on it for years, not holding grudges, not being nit picky, not letting one bad thing ruin my day! Thanks for posting this!

  2. This is amazing! Thank you for sharing!!